Get ready to usher in the New Year with a burst of laughter. As we bid farewell to the old and welcome the new, what better way to celebrate than with a collection of light-hearted and pun-tastic jokes tailored for the occasion? Whether you're gearing up for a festive gathering, a cozy night in, or just seeking a chuckle to start the year off right, this compilation of New Year's Eve jokes is sure to bring a smile to your face.
We've got jokes and puns for any holiday or season. From Halloween jokes to Thanksgiving jokes to jokes about the winter, we've done it all. So we would be remiss in our duties to exclude New Year's Eve.
From clever quips about resolutions to playful punchlines about snowmen and champagne bottles, these jokes cover the spectrum of humor that comes with ringing in the New Year. Whether you find amusement in wordplay, knock-knock jokes, or clever twists on holiday traditions, there's something here for everyone.
So, join in the merriment and share a laugh or two as we navigate the transition from one calendar year to the next. Whether you're curious about the misadventures of an unfortunate calendar thief or intrigued by the resolutions of snowmen, these jokes are here to add a touch of humor to your New Year's festivities.
Funny New Year's Eve Jokes
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- What's the worst part of jogging on New Year's Eve? The ice falling out of your drink!
- What do cows say on Jan. 1? "Happy Moo New Year!"
- My New Year's resolution is to see my cup half-full, preferably with rum, gin, vodka, or moonshine.
- What is the digital camera's New Year's resolution? 1080p.
- What do New Year's parades have in common with Santa Claus? No one is ever awake to see them.
- What do you call someone named Stephen on Dec. 31? New Year's Steve!
- What is a New Year's resolution? Something that goes in one year and out the other.
- What do you use in the bathroom on Jan. 1 after No. 2? A New Year's bidet.
- Youth is when you're allowed to stay up for New Year's. Middle age is when you're forced to.
- What is corn's favorite holiday? New Ears Eve.
- What is a New Year's resolution? Something that goes in one year and out the other.
- Youth is when you're allowed to stay up on New Year's Eve. Middle age is when you're forced to.
- What do New Year's Day parades have in common with Santa Claus? No one is awake to see either of them.
- My grandparents had resolutions like donating more time and money to charities. I've decided to make my own coffee once a week.
- What do snowmen like to do on New Year's Eve? Chill out.
- What did the little champagne bottle call his father? Pop!
- Where can you find comedians on New Year's Eve? Waiting for the punch line.
- Why do you need a jeweler on New Year's Eve? To ring in the New Year.
- My New Year's resolution is to stop hanging out with people who ask me about my New Year's resolution.
- What's a cow's favorite holiday? Moo Year's Eve.
New Year's Eve Dad Jokes
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- What should you never eat on New Year's Eve? Firecrackers.
- Why do birds fly south for New Year's Eve? It's too far to walk.
- Why should you put your new calendar in the freezer? To start off the new year in a cool way.
- What happened to the man who shoplifted a calendar on New Year's Eve? He got 12 months!
- What do snowmen like to do on New Year's Eve? Chill out.
- What did the farmer give his wife on New Year's Eve? Hogs and kisses.
- What did the cat say on New Year's Eve? "Meow."
- What happened when an iPhone and a firework were arrested on NYE? One was charged and the other was let off.
- What do you call someone who says they know all the words to "Auld Lang Syne"? A liar.
- What did the cheerleaders say on New Year's Day? "Happy New Cheer!"
New Year's Eve Jokes for Kids
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- What group hates New Year's Day? The New Year's Eve clean-up crew.
- What does the Easter Bunny say on New Year's Day? Hoppy New Year!
- What's the luckiest band on New Year's Day? Black-Eyed Peas.
- What New Year's resolution should a basketball player never make? To travel more.
- What do you say when you see someone after midnight on New Year's Day? I haven't seen you since last year!
- Where did the math teacher hang out on New Year's Eve? Times Square.
- Why should you put your calendar in the freezer? To start off the new year in a cool way.
- Why is the person who plans the Time's Square celebration on New Year's a failure? They always drop the ball.
- What happened to the person who stole a calendar on New Year's Eve? They got 12 months!
- What does a ghost say on January 1? Happy boo year!
New Year's Eve Knock-Knock Jokes
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- Knock, knock. Who's there? Snow. Snow who? Snowbody.
- Knock, knock. Who's there? Hippy. Hippy who? Hippy New Year's, dude!
- Knock, knock. Who's there? Abby. Abby who? Abby New Year!
- Knock, knock. Who's there? Hannah. Hannah who? Hannah Happy New Year!
- Knock, knock. Who's there? Joe King. Joe King who? Joking like this on New Year's Eve?
- Knock, knock. Who's there? Scold. Scold who? Scold enough out here to go ice skating.
- Knock, knock. Who's there? Lettuce. Lettuce who? Lettuce in, it's freezing out here.
- Knock, knock. Who's there? Woo. Woo who? Calm down, the ball hasn't dropped yet!
- Knock, knock. Who's there? Razor. Razor who? Razor glass to toast the new year!
- Knock, knock. Who's there? Sip. Sip who? Sip, sip, hooray for New Year's!
- Knock, knock. Who's there? Radio. Radio who? Radio not, it's a New Year.
- Knock, knock. Who's there? Cheese. Cheese who? For cheese a jolly good fellow.
- Knock, knock. Who's there? Ben. Ben who? Ben waiting for the ball to drop all day!
- "Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Howie." "Howie who?" "Howie going to stay up until midnight, you look tired already."
- "Knock, knock!" "Who's there?" "Razor." "Razor who?" "Razor glass to toast the new year!"
