It's time to stop taking Thanksgiving so seriously. That's why we're serving up a feast of 50 gut-busting Thanksgiving jokes that'll have everyone from Grandma to the kids in stitches. What's on the menu, you ask? Jokes about turkeys that are anything but dry, corn(y)-on-the-cob quips, and plenty of freshly whipped punchlines to entertain everyone throughout your Thanksgiving activities.
Hungry yet? You will be. Whether you're in charge of appetizers or Instagram captions, these jokes offer a side dish of chuckles to compliment your timeless Thanksgiving traditions. We can't guarantee the entire table will burst out in laughter with the jokes we've got here, but telling them will be better than an awkward political conversation, right?
And don't worry — there won't be any jokes that make you cringe. Probably. No promises. But we can promise these zingers are family-friendly and safe for even the smallest members sitting at the kiddie table. There are also plenty of topics, but as you can imagine, there's a lot of turkey talk. That's the centerpiece of most Thanksgiving meals, after all. May as well make light of the whole rigmarole, right?
This year, whip out this list to make sure your Thanksgiving isn't just about stuffing your face but also about laughing your tail feathers off. And if your captive audience is demanding even more entertainment, follow up with a few Thanksgiving quotes that'll make everyone feel grateful. Gather 'round, because it's time to feast!
Turkey Thanksgiving Jokes
- Why did the turkey join the band? Because it had the drumsticks!
- What's a turkey's favorite dessert? Peach gobbler.
- What do you get when you cross a turkey with an octopus? Enough drumsticks for everyone!
- Why did the turkey get kicked out of the movie theater? Because it was using "fowl" language.
- What's a turkey's favorite type of music? Gobble-step!
- What did the turkey say to the computer? "Google, google, google."
- Why did the turkey eat so little? Because it was already stuffed!
- What's a turkey's favorite key on the keyboard? The space bar, because it gives him room to gobble!
- Why did the turkey cross the road? To prove he wasn't chicken!
- What's a turkey's favorite instrument? The drum, naturally!
- Why did the police arrest the turkey? They suspected it of "fowl" play.
- What's a turkey's favorite game? Hide and gobble!
- What did the turkey say to the turkey hunter on Thanksgiving Day? "You missed!"
- How do you send a turkey through the mail? Bird class.
- Why did the turkey sit next to the mashed potatoes? It wanted to keep an eye on the gravy!
- What do you get when you cross a turkey with a penguin? A bird that's formal but can't fly or swim.
- What did the turkey say before its comedy act? "Please beak-kind with the applause!"
- What did the turkey say to the other turkey? "Why did you gobble up all the corn?"
- Why did the turkey blush? Because it saw the stuffing!
- What's the best song to sing when preparing your turkey? "All About That Baste."
- My family told me to stop telling Thanksgiving jokes ... but I told them I couldn't quit "cold turkey."
- What do you call a running turkey? Fast food.
- Is turkey soup good for your health? A: Not if you're the turkey!
- Why do turkeys always say "gobble, gobble"? Because they never learned good table manners.
Food Jokes
- Why did the cranberries turn red? Because they saw the turkey dressing.
- What's the key to a great Thanksgiving dinner? The tur-key!
- What did the mother turkey say to her disobedient children? "If your father could see you now, he'd turn over in his gravy!"
- What do you get if you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter? Pumpkin pi.
- What did the sweet potato say to the turkey? "I yam what I yam."
- What did one cranberry say to the other at Thanksgiving dinner? "If you had been sweeter, we wouldn't be in this jam."
- Why was the Thanksgiving soup so expensive? Because it had 24 carrots!
- Why did the Thanksgiving pie go to therapy? Because it was always getting sliced up.
- What's a pilgrim's favorite type of cheese? Plymouth Rock-For!
- What did the mashed potatoes say to the butter? "You melt my heart!"
- What did the green bean say to the corn? "Quit being so corny!"
- What do you call a large gathering of cranberry sauce? A jamboree!
Super Silly Thanksgiving Jokes
- How did the Mayflower show that it liked America? It hugged the shore!
- What's the best dance to do on Thanksgiving? The turkey trot!
- How many cooks does it take to stuff a turkey? One, but you really have to squeeze to get him in!
- What would you get if you crossed a turkey with a ghost? A poultry-geist!
- What sound does a limping turkey make? "Wobble, wobble!"
- How do you keep a turkey in suspense? I'll tell you at Christmas.
- What's the difference between a pirate and a cranberry farmer? A pirate buries his treasure, but a cranberry farmer treasures his berries.
- What would you get if you crossed a turkey with a DJ? A bird that makes "beats"!
- What do you call it when it rains turkeys? Fowl weather!
- What's the difference between a turkey and a flying pig? One is a "gobbledy gook" and the other is a "pork chopper"!
- How do you make a turkey float? A scoop of ice cream, some root beer, and a turkey!
- Why did the scarecrow host Thanksgiving dinner? Because he was already stuffed!
- Why did the turkey bring a suitcase to Thanksgiving? It heard there would be plenty of "stuffing."
- What's a turkey's favorite form of literature? Poultry!
- Why did the pilgrim bring a rope to Thanksgiving? To tie up loose ends before the holiday!
- What's the pilgrim's favorite type of music? Plymouth Rock!
- What did the pilgrim say after his pants fell down? "Buckle up, everyone!"
- Why did the pie go to a psychiatrist? Because it had too many layers!
- What do you call a running turkey? Fast food.
Thanksgiving Knock-Knock Jokes
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- "Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "Norma Lee." "Norma Lee who?" "Norma Lee I don't eat this much!"
- "Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "Tamara." "Tamara who?" "Tamara we'll eat all the leftovers!"
- "Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "Annie." "Annie who?" "Annie body seen the turkey?"
- "Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "Arthur." "Arthur who?" "Arthur any leftovers?"
- "Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "Aaron." "Aaron who?" "Aaron you having more cranberry sauce?"
- "Knock knock!""Who's there?" "Dewey." "Dewey who?" "Dewey have to wait long to eat?"
- "Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "Emma.""Emma who?" "Emma real pig when it comes to eating turkey!"
- "Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "Esther." "Esther who?" "Esther any more gravy?"
- "Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "Gladys." "Gladys who?" "Gladys Thanksgiving. Aren't you?"
- "Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "Harry." "Harry who?" "Harry up, I'm hungry!"
- "Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "Nadia." "Nadia who?" "Nadia head when you say 'Gobble! Gobble!'"
- "Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "Odette." "Odette who?" "Odette's a big turkey!"
- "Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "Possum." "Possum who?" "Possum gravy on my potatoes."
- "Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "Wilma." "Wilma who?" "Wil Ma make lots of food again this Thanksgiving?"
- "Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "Aida." "Aida who?" "Aida lot more than I should have!"
- "Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "Phillip." "Phillip who?" "Phillip a big plate and dig in!"
- "Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "Howie." "Howie who?" "Howie am I supposed to walk in this turkey costume?"
- "Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "Ava." "Ava who?" "Ava seen a play about the first Thanksgiving?"
