Time to get corn-y with some Halloween puns! Sure, the Halloween season brings out the dark and spooky side in some people, with their skeletons and bubbling cauldrons and things that go bump in the night. But we can't help but lean into the trickster part of "trick or treat," too, and have a little fun making puns that capture the silliness of the season. After all, it's the time of year when it's acceptable to dress up in costumes, bob for apples and ride a sugar high. And what's funnier than that? Maybe a ghost joke.
No matter where you're celebrating Halloween this year — the neighborhood trick-or-treat party, an all-night costume bash, or staying up trying to catch a glimpse of The Great Pumpkin — it's always nice to have a few Halloween jokes up your sleeve. You never know whom you can make cackle with a clever pun about what vampires take when they've got a cold (coffin drops!) or the best thing to order at an Italian restaurant on Halloween night (Fettuccine Afraid-o, of course!). Or if you're feeling sufficiently spooked after a night of watching classic Halloween movies, these Halloween puns will soothe even the scared-iest of scaredy-cats.
Without further aBOO, check out a few more of our absolute favorite Halloween puns that are sure to bring out the chuckle in even the most ghoulish of us all.
Funny Halloween Puns
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- Did you know Shakespeare wrote a Halloween play? I think it's called Romeo and Ghouliet.
- Howl you doing this Halloween?
- You can't out-Halloween-pun me ... I'm the pun-king!
- What is a vampire's favorite holiday? Fangsgiving.
- Don't mind me ... I'll just be over there goblin up some candy.
- Is that a haunted chicken? Talk about a poultry-geist!
- Did you hear the one about the vampires who got married? It was love at first bite!
- Don't go kissing any vampires tonight ... it's a real pain in the neck.
- I did some exorcizing to make room for all this candy.
- Where do zombies live? On dead-end roads.
- I'm going to save some of these treats for later ... they'll definitely come in candy.
- What kind of underwear do mummies prefer? Fruit of the tomb!
- What do you call two spiders who just got married? Newlywebs.
- What's a mummy's favorite kind of music? Wrap!
- What's a zombie's least-favorite candy? Life Savers!
- What do you call a vampire who can't stop eating? Count Snackula.
- Where do werewolves stay when they go on vacation? The Howliday Inn.
- What do zombies say when they meet? Pleased to eat you.
- How do monsters tell their future? They read their horror-scope.
- Why are graveyards so noisy? All the coffin!
- Why was the mummy sent to prison? He was running a pyramid scheme.
- I used to know a few vampire jokes, but they kinda suck.
- That zombie thinks this is the best thing since sliced head.
- Did you hear about the mummy that got rich? He made it all in crypt-ocurrency.
- Why did the vampire become an actor? He wanted a role he could really sink his teeth into.
Skeleton Puns
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- Who won the skeleton beauty contest? No body.
- Why were the workers unable to complete the job on time? Because they had a skeleton crew!
- What did the skeleton say when he landed in Paris? Bone-jour!
- Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? He didn't have the guts.
- Skeleton puns are so humerus.
- There was a skeleton who always lied to his friends. So his friends named him 'phoney-ba-boney'!
- Upon producing very good results at work, his manager gave the efficient skeleton a bone-us.
- There was a skeleton who always failed all his examinations in school because he was a numskull!
- Where do the cool skeletons go to hang out? A hip joint.
- What did the skeleton say to the bartender? I'll have a beer and a mop.
- Why are skeletons so mellow? Nothing gets under their skin.
- Skeletons don't lie. They always speak the truth because they always want tibia honest!
- The famous skeleton, Sherlock Bones, caught the criminal just from a trivial hunch. He claimed he could just feel it in his bones.
- The skeleton got a job in the jazz band. He has been recruited as the trom-bone player.
- The skeleton loved traveling and went on trips that included adventure sports like paragliding and cliff diving. He was just bone to be wild.
- Ain't nobody gonna Rib us apart.
- A scared skeleton always finds it hard to look at other skeletons because he doesn't have the stomach to see them!
- Why are skeletons so calm? Because nothing gets under their skin.
Pumpkin Puns
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- Slipped on a pumpkin just now ... it really caught me off gourd.
- Let's give 'em pumpkin to talk about.
- What do you get when you divide the circumference of a jack-o'-lantern by its diameter? Pumpkin pi.
- What do you call a sporty pumpkin? A jock-o'-lantern.
- Just a couple of country pumpkins
- I'm just here to have a gourd time.
- Don't be a jerk-o-lantern!
- Carve out some fun this fall.
- Stay away from jack-o'-lanterns ... they're usually from a seedy part of town.
- Did you see the pregnant jack-o'-lantern? She was absolutely glowing.
- Another gourd-geous day at the farm
- What is a pumpkin's favorite sport? Squash.
- Why was the jack-o-lantern so forgetful? Because he's empty-headed.
- How does a Halloween pumpkin listen to music? On vine-yl.
- Where do pumpkins live? In the seedy part of town.
- What did the pumpkin say at the bar? Let's get smashed.
Ghost Puns
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- I'm experiencing a little deja boo.
- What is a ghost's favorite fruit? Boo-berries!
- Better get your sheet together for your ghost costume!
- Did you hear about the ghost who's the star of the cheerleading squad? They have a ton of spirit.
- That's the ghost elevator over there ... it's really good at lifting spirits.
- What do you call a ghost who haunts fireplaces? A toasty ghosty!
- Why are ghosts terrible liars? Because you can see right through them.
- Can you give that ghost over there a Band-Aid? It has a boo-boo.
- Where do baby ghosts go while their parents are at work? Dayscare.
- What do poltergeists do at the amusement park? Ride the roller ghost-er.
- Be careful at the thrift shop! You know ghosts love bargain haunting.
- What is a ghost's favorite dessert? An I scream sundae.
- Did you hear about the ghost who got lost in the fog? She'll really be mist.
- Where do ghosts go shopping? A boo-tique!
- Who did the ghost bring to the dance? Their ghoul-friend.
- Which type of ghost has the best hearing? The eeriest!
- What do you call a ghost with a broken leg? A hobblin' goblin.
- What's a ghost's favorite makeup? Ma-scare-a.
- Do ghosts tell scary human stories around the campfire?
- What do you call a ghost who works out all day? A swol-tergeist.
- Why did the ghost put down his phone? He wanted to limit his scream time
Witch Puns
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- What's a witch's favorite food? Scream of Wheat.
- Why do witches make great authors? Their books are just spellbinding.
- I'll be-witcha in a few minutes!
- What's a witch's favorite subject at school? Spelling.
- What do witches love about hotels? The broom service.
- What's a witch's favorite way to crank up the jams? On her broom box!
- How does a witch travel when her broom is in the shop? She witchhikes.
- Stay away from an angry witch ... she might really be flying off the handle.
- Have you seen the twin witches? I can't tell witch is witch!
- What sound does a witch's cereal make? Snap, cackle and pop.
- What do you call witches who live together? Broom-mates.
- What do you call a nervous witch? A twitch.
- How do you make a witch scratch? By taking away the 'w'.
- How did the witch tell her friends that she was pregnant? She told them she had a bun in the coven.
- Why couldn't the little witch read her spellbook? It was written in curse-ive.
