Country music superstar Tim McGraw go off to a difficult start with his dad, baseball phenom Tug McGraw. Tug was pretty much not a factor in his son's life until he was a teenager. As the beloved singer described when he chatted recently with host Tim Ferriss on The Tim Ferriss Podcast, he holds no animosity for his father. The elder McGraw died in 2004 at the age of 59 due to a brain tumor.
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Tug McGraw Gave Tim "Something Precious"
McGraw shared, "When people ask, 'How could you have anything to do with your dad? How could you not have hated him? How could you have just not turned your back on him?' My answer is always, 'He gave me something that was so precious, and that was hope. Whether he meant to — and he didn't — or knew it, he gave me a reason to think that I can get out of the situation that I was in."
He went on, "That if he can do that, then I have it in me to do something. And so for that reason alone, I couldn't hate him. If everything else is gone, if you got hope, you still got a chance."
He Did Not Know Tug Was His Dad Until He Was 11
For years, Tim McGraw thought that his mom's husband, Horace Smith, was actually his dad. But when he was 11, he accidentally happened upon a key document - his birth certificate. It bore Tug McGraw's name, which was crossed out. (He and Tim's mom had a short relationship when she was very young.)
McGraw looked on finding his real dad as "sort of a ray of light." That reaction may be hard to fathom. He tried to explain to Tim Ferriss.
"At the time, I don't think there was anger. I think there was some affirmation in it, because we grew up in a very dysfunctional life. The guy who I thought was my dad growing up was an alcoholic and very abusive to my mom and to me. And then the second stepdad was worse than the first one. So for me, there was an affirmation of why I felt like I didn't belong with that guy. It wasn't a confusion... Certainly it was more about the excitement of finding out that your dad's a professional baseball player. So for me it was sort of a ray of light in a lot of ways."
Tug Did Not Initially Acknowledge Tim as His Son
When Tim was 18, he was off to college. A lawyer representing Tug said that he would contribute $300 annually toward his son's education. But there was a painful catch. That arrangement was contingent upon Tim not getting in touch with Tug in the future.
On the podcast, Tim clarified the circumstances that ensued. "As soon as [my mom] left, I just looked at Tug and said, 'Look, I'll sign your contract. I'll never talk to you again. I won't bother you. I just have one question for you. And I asked him, 'Do you think you're my dad?'" he recalled. "And he says, 'Yes, I believe I am.' And he said, 'We'll tear the contract up.' And then I didn't hear from him for a year after that. But after that, we ended up starting to see more of each other."
