Caleb Shomo said that right before he came out to his wife, his feelings of terror were so intense that he began "bawling" his eyes out. The Beartooth frontman had been married to his wife, Fleur, for 14 years.
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He recently shared his experience on Wednesday's episode of Disrespectfully, a podcast hosted by Katie Maloney and Dayna Kathan of Vanderpump Rules.
The Beartooth Singer Came Out Last Month
Caleb shared on May 24 in his personal Instagram account that he was "a proudly gay man." But before the Beartooth frontman shared his news with the world, he first had to tell his wife.
"And I really struggle to verbalize things, and this is obviously such an intense thing, and I'm feeling so nervous and so scared in the situation that it was really, really difficult to verbalize, and I didn't verbalize it very well," he told the podcast hosts.
After keeping his sexuality "at bay" for years, Caleb said he had a "really difficult" conversation with Fleur about who he really was.
"There's something there that I've been running from for a long f*****g time. And I don't think I want to run anymore," he remembers saying. "And yeah, then after that, the f*****g hinges got ripped out."
The Singer Is Now Trying To "Forgive Himself"
After coming out, Caleb said he was able to "stop hating myself so much." To better come to terms with who he is, the Beartooth frontman began a routine of "therapy, exercise, eating good, sunshine, good sleep, and being creative."
He later shared on the podcast that he is now working on forgiving himself.
"I feel like I'm on the path," he said. "I'm letting this happen."
He added, "I'm not trying to rush anything. I'm not trying to force anything. It's just one step at a time."
Fleur shared in a statement last month that her marriage to Caleb was "wonderful" and that she supported him on his journey. However, she acknowledged the pain of the separation.
"Nobody will know anything about our marriage like we do," she wrote. "And no one can ever truly know what depths of love exist between two people unless they are those people. I already miss it & my husband more than anything. Our story was a good one. And now it's done."
You can watch the Disrespectfully podcast below.
