Teasers of Miranda Lambert's rocking, independent-minded album Wildcard continue with "Way Too Pretty for Prison," a darkly humorous song featuring fellow hit-making rule-breaker Maren Morris.
After a chaotic opening that sounds more like an on-stage tantrum by The Who or Nirvana than the intro to a country song, Lambert and Morris explain why the unglamorous realities of life in prison should cancel out revenge fantasies involving no-good cheaters.
From opening line "they don't have rhinestone ball and chains," Lambert and the Love Junkies (the songwriting team of Liz Rose, Lori McKenna and Hillary Lindsey) poke fun at the luxuries taken for granted by people who either walk the straight and narrow or are incredibly good at not getting killed or caught while living out a future true crime podcast topic.
Wildcard arrives Nov. 1 via Vanner Records/RCA Records Nashville.
"Way Too Pretty for Prison" Lyrics
They don't have rhinestone ball and chains
Lunch? trays don't come with Chardonnay
The? bars there ain't got boys to buy us drinks
We'd stick out like two bottled blondes
I must admit it don't sound fun
For? fifteen girls to have to share one sink
He? cheated, he's a villain
And you know I'd help you kill him
But? we're way too pretty for prison
Hard time ain't our kind of livin'
And I don't want to talk about
The way those jumpsuits wash us out
We're? way too pretty for prison
Antifreeze and Gatorade
Arsenic in his lemonade
Takes just one snip to bleed his brakes
But we ain't gonna do it (She ain't gonna do it)
Yeah, we've been watching too much TV
You ain't Thelma, I ain't Louise
But if we ask 'em they'd both agree
We should put him through it (Don't put him through it)
He cheated, he's a villain
So let's hire somebody to kill him
'Cause we're way too pretty for prison
Hard time ain't our kind of livin'
And I don't want to talk about
The way those jumpsuits wash us out
We're way too pretty for prison
La de da da da (La de da da da)
La de da da da (La de da da da)
La de da da, la de da da, la de da da da
Well, the state won't pay for lash extensions
No Sun Tan City, not to mention
That lack of waxing situation
Oh, no
'Cause we're way too pretty for prison
Hard time ain't our kind of livin', no
And I don't want to talk about
The way those jumpsuits wash us out
We're way too pretty for prison
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