Welcome to the domain of the Chaos Goblin. I've got a treat for you today! Meet Corey Harris. He has a suspended driver's license. Mr. Harris had his day in court, allowed to attend virtually. He's introduced by his representative, Assistant Public Defender Natalie Pate. "He should be present through Zoom," Pate says. And, boy, is he ever present.
Legend-in-training, Corey Harris, shows up for his suspended license case while driving. Judge J. Cedric Simpson seems positively befuddled as Harris pops into view. "Mr. Harris, are you driving?"
"Actually, I'm pulling into my doctor's office, actually. So, just give me one second," Harris responds. No self-awareness, not a care in the world. Blissfully ignorant.
"What are we doing?" the Judge asks.
"Your Honor, we are respectfully requesting an adjournment in this matter." Harris' poor Defender is doing her best, but it's no use. Our man is caught. Outed. Defeated.
"This is a driver with the license suspended?" "That is correct, Your Honor." "And he was just driving. And he doesn't have a license."
The Judge is looking around, making sure he hasn't fallen into the wrong dimension. Harris' face as the reality of his predicament slowly sets in? Priceless. We even get a clueless "...Um..." as his mind blanks on a credible excuse. A twin, perhaps? An evil doppelganger out to ruin his life? A custom, realistic Zoom background that perhaps didn't get the laughs he was hoping for?
No. For Harris, the game is over before it's properly begun. "I don't even know why he would do that," the Judge states plainly, now looking as if his job has become infinitely easier -- and it has. Harris' bond is revoked, and he's required to turn himself in that day.
Finally? "Oh my God," Harris whispers, distraught.
A Man On A Suspended License Arrives Remotely At Court While Driving
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