In the year of our lord 2026, men are getting injured by drying their hair too hard.
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In fairness, this sort of thing probably has happened in the past. Plus, the star of our tale was only injured because they were ultra-manly in drying their hair, you see...
It all started back on Sept. 30, when UK man Samuel Johnson woke up nearly an hour late for work. Dedicated to the art of grooming, the 21-year-old didn't dare skip his hygiene routine to make it to work on time. Instead, he rushed through the process at a breakneck pace... almost literally.
Pulling it all together, the young man ran his luscious blonde locks under his bathroom sink, hoping to get his broccoli-style hair on point, according to UK outlet The Daily Star. Afterward, in a totally masculine move, he wrapped his head in a towel, hoping the tight fit would do the trick by quickly drying his hair.
Speeding up the apparently daunting process, Johnson claims he "dried his hair too aggressively." Somehow, the towel got caught on the back of the young man's head in the ensuing struggle. With only moments to spare before he needed to leave for work, Johnson gave the towel a mighty yank. He told The Daily Star that the result of the tug was pulling his neck "all the way down," along with a loud crack.
Man Who Injured Himself While Drying His Hair Broke Down in Tears In Front of His Mother
With youth on his side, Johnson shrugged off the potential injury when he only felt a bit of initial pain. He then made his way to his marleting job without incident. Despite his valiant efforts, he was still about ten minutes late for work.
However, as the cubical warrior went about his day, he noticed the pain in his neck worsening. Eventually, he claimed the agony included "throbbing with its own heartbeat." Johnson also claimed it was torment to turn his head.
Johnson soldiered on, making it back home after an honest day's work. Letting his brave face fall, the young man then broke down in tears in front of his mother, prompting her to take him to the emergency room.
Doctors eventually diagnosed Johnson with a "trapped nerve" due to his hair-drying mishap. They sent him home with painkillers and presumably orders to use a blow dryer.
Now, after weeks of recovery, Johnson is stepping forward to share his ordeal. He hopes that others suddenly finding themselves late for work take a lesson out of his book and do their best to carefully get ready. Avoiding being a few minutes late isn't worth a trip to the emergency room... or crying in front of your mother.
