You wouldn't expect someone's vasectomy story to be one full of gags, but this is a Kid Rock story, so anything goes. The country rock artist recently shared about his vasectomy, and it's a pretty wild ride.
Videos by Wide Open Country
Kid Rock recently sat down with Bill Maher on his Club Random podcast, someone he's been spending an awful lot of time with recently. There, they spoke about a wide variety of topics, but the one that interested me the most, weirdly, was his vasectomy.
Kid Rock shared that after ending his recent relationship last month with his fiancé for many years, Audrey Berry, he wanted to get the snip.
After becoming single, he thought to himself, "Alright. I've gotta get these things cut off."
Of course, that's not what happens, which he learned after some research. Then he got into the meat of the story.
"You know the worst part about it?" he asked Maher. "It's another dude washing your balls."
And it's not the worst part for the reason you expect.
Kid Rock Asks A Hard Question When Preparing For Vasectomy
"Here's the f--ked up part, Bill," he continued. "I can't believe I'm going to admit this on... whatever we're on."
"You're sitting there, and there's a dude washing your balls. Now think about this: someone starts scratching your back and you don't know who it is... feels good," he said with a sly smile. You know where he's going with this.
"And I'm like, 'F--kin' baseball, who hit the most home runs in history,'" he recalled his efforts trying to distract himself. "And I'm like, 'If I f--kin' pop a boner right now, am I gay?!"
"This is f--ked up," he joked.
The best part is, is that the doctor's name was Dr. Johnson. Because of course it was.
Thankfully, there was a good atmosphere in the room, and Kid Rock recalls some of the banter shared between himself and the doctor making him question his sexuality.
Apparently, the doctor asked Kid Rock what music he wants to play. "I'm like, 'Anything [that] keeps you calm," he answered. "Motherf--ker puts on Metallica."
Absolutely brilliant.
If ever I get a vasectomy, I only want it to be as good a story as this one.
