Oh, Jelly Roll. Welcome to "Quintessential First World Problems"! I'm your host, and we're about to get into all the sock-based tomfoolery! Per PEOPLE, Mr. Roll had quite the proclamation for us.
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"Can I tell you a frivolous habit I have?" Jelly Roll says, trying to lull us into a false sense of security. Then, he drops it. "Don't judge me for this, y'all. I promise I grew up very humble, but I only wear socks once." Evidently, he buys socks in bulk to avoid re-wearing the same pair.
"It's the most frivolous thing I've done with my success," Mr. Roll asserts. "I'm sorry, I hope I didn't let nobody down with that."
Jelly Roll, how could you? I can somewhat sympathize with coming into some money and developing some odd quirks, sure! Holy Rolly is entitled to his sock sadism. But if you're reading this right now, I want you to humor a teeny-tiny thought experiment with me. It'll just take a second. ...I'd tell you to close your eyes and imagine the portrait I'm about to paint for you, but then you can't read the actual scenario.
It's raining -- a downpour, at that. You're walking down the street, fighting against the elements. Suddenly, a car runs over a deep, muddy puddle you're walking past. You're now drenched from head to toe. You probably say a few curse words, too.
When you return home, what do you do with your soiled, dirty outfit?
A.) Say "Welp, I guess this outlived its usefulness!" and throw it in the trash?
or B.) Throw the outfit in the washing machine like a regular human being?
Jelly Roll Admits He Only Wears A Pair Of Socks Once And The Internet Has Thoughts
Laundry is a thing.
