Every year around Christmas, parents bring Christmas elves to their house so that they can report their children's behavior to Santa Claus. For Emberly Wadsworth and her family, however, Elf on the Shelf is their way of remembering their lost son, Tatum, who died of complications five months after being born in 2023.
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Doctors diagnosed Tatum with severe intrauterine growth restriction (IUGR) during Wadsworth's pregnancy. According to Cleveland Clinic, IUGR happens when a fetus doesn't develop as expected, being smaller than average. Due to this, Tatum was delivered early and only weighed 1 lb, 5 oz. Previously, Wadsworth had prayed for her to be able to meet her son.
Once James was born, the bad news didn't stop coming. He was diagnosed with bronchopulmonary dysplasia and then with hydrocephalus and a premature fused skull, according to PEOPLE. James, described as "resilient, patient, and strong," managed to live for seven months. Eventually, the family had to take James out of life support on September 24, 2023. At that point, there was nothing medically to be done.
To keep James' memory alive and to make sure that her daughter, Anna Grace, has a "magical" holiday season, she soon came up with an idea. "[I] saw some elves for sale. Instantly, the idea popped into my mind: 'Gracie is going to get two elves this year: Hers, and Tatum's," Wadsworth said.
Two Elves On The Shelf
In a viral TikTok video, the Wadsworth family explained their tradition with Anna Grace. In the video, Anna Grace's Elf left a note for her to read outside a Santa's Workshop's door. "Hey Gracie, I missed you so very much. Today I have a special surprise for you. Some kids have a sibling who's in heaven," John Wadsworth, her father, reads.
"When that happens, there's an extra Elf who no longer has a kid to visit, so Santa came up with the brilliant plan to send an extra Elf to the house it was originally assigned to. So this year, and all future years, you get two of us!" John continued. Anna Grace became excited and said that the Elf's explanation was "beautiful."
According to Emberly, Anna Grace misses James and dreams of having a sibling with her at the house, so the tradition helps her deal with her loss and keep James' memory alive. "[Anna Grace] talks to her elves constantly, almost as if they are her friends," Emberly Wadsworth said. "This idea has, in a unique way, made it feel like we get to talk to Tatum every day."
This tradition also helps Emberly and her husband mourn and process their son's passing. "I miss our Tatum every single day. So does my sweet husband and little Gracie!" Wadsworth said. "But, I keep that pain inside me because it's important to me to make this holiday season magical."
