See that man above? That was me ten minutes ago when reading all the reports about a couple involving poop during their incredibly ironic robbery. My 2025 is off to a brilliant start.
Videos by Wide Open Country
A very amusing official statement by the Polk County Sheriff's Office told of the shocking event. According to the statement, a couple stole $500 worth of cleaning supplies from a Family Dollar store thanks to a distraction they set up.
While suspect 1 stole the goods, suspect 2 pooped on the floor. Yep, that's right.
As she did a very different kind of business in the store, her accomplice fled the store with the items. They escaped in a "white Ford van".
The suspects have not been identified, although the sheriff gave them rather fitting and amusing names. "Mr. Clean" and "Ms. Dookie" are who we're after. These brilliant names are almost too good for who they're being associated with.
They're still on the run, so keep your eyes out if you're around Mulberry. Or, rather, keep your noses out.
Woman Does Her Business In A Family Dollar Store
"The suspects were a man and a woman, and the played different roles as they conspired in their retail theft. Very different roles," the statement said when going into detail of the event.
On December 18th, "The man walked around the store gathering nearly $500 worth of merchandise (like lots of Gain, Tide, and Clorox products) whilst the woman caused a distraction for employees by using the restroom...without going to the restroom," was sheepishly written.
Talk about dirty money.
"The floor was her restroom. And an employee had to clean that...stuff up," the statement continued. Honestly, these poor retail workers will never get paid enough.
The police shared a video with the statement that identifies the suspects.
"Mr. Clean" walks out with an overburdened shopping cart, and is followed after by "Ms. Dookie." She wears an indescribable expression, although it definitely screams 'I just pooped on the floor.'
It was a cruel move to relieve the store of its cleaning products while relieving themselves of their unclean products. A very cruel move.
