Everyone knows dating is complicated; this is no secret.
I thought I might be able to look to country music to figure out just what it is that makes a country girl tick. I thought maybe I could find the secret formula to a girl's heart by gathering up the lessons in country songs.
It turns out that's easier said than done.
What I learned about dating country girls from listening to country music possibly left me even more befuddled than when I started. Here are the 11 lessons I learned about dating country girls from listening to country music.
11. What they're attracted to
They need a man who can keep them warm at night and treat them right. Looks, money and fancy cars don't impress country girls. Neither does Brad Pitt...
Source: "Don't Impress Me Much" - Shania Twain
...except when he does.
Source: "'Till Brad Pitt Comes Along" - Taylor Swift
10. What they expect from you
A country girl is looking for a man to accept her just the way she is. As goes the cliche, if you can't handle her at her worst, you don't deserve her at her best. Of course, her best may be a bra from Walmart, your t-shirt or sneakers. Oh and it's ok if she is late, but you had better not be.
Sources: "Perfect" - Sara Evans, "Redneck Woman" - Gretchen Wilson, "My Baby Loves Me" - Martina McBride, "Any Man of Mine" - Shania Twain
9. What a good date is
Sometimes a romantic date for a country girl is just hanging out in bed all day and, well, you know... They can also get kinky.
Sources: "All I Want to Do" - Sugarland, "Weed Instead of Roses" - Ashley Monroe
...aaand sometimes it's not. Sometimes they want you to get off your butt and take them out.
Source: "Downtown" - Lady Antebellum
Girls seem to always be on the lookout for someone different, someone unique. In a world where every other song is about taking a girl on a date to drive around in your truck in a muddy field, maybe what's unique is taking her to a nice restaurant and dancing.
Sources: Just about every song released in the last five years
Skinny dipping is always a good option.
Sources: "Out Here in the Water" - Rebecca Lynn Howard, "Skinny Dippin'" - Whitney Duncan
8. It pays to be bold
Country girls aren't going to sit around and wait for you to work up the courage to act. She's got better things to do. Then again, if you can't work up the courage, she sure as hell will.
Sources: "Are You Gonna Kiss Me or Not?" - Thompson Square, "Shut Up and Kiss Me" - Mary Chapin Carpenter
7. Country girls are wily
They know how to get what they want and they're going to get it, whether you believe it or not. They also almost always have an ace in the hole.
Sources: "Back to Me" - Kathleen Edwards, "Girls Lie Too" - Terri Clark
Sources: "I'll Think of a Reason Later" - LeeAnn Womack, "Party of One" - Trick Pony, "Guys Do it All the Time" - Mindy McReady
6. Girls make bad decisions too
It takes two to tango, after all. Or get drunkenly married.
Sources: "Last Name" - Carrie Underwood, "I Don't Even Know Your Name" - Alan Jackson
Girls also have been known to make booty calls.
Source: "Need You Now" - Lady Antebellum
5. Forever means forever...sometimes
Country girls are fiercely loyal to their man and they expect you to be too...
Source: "Better Dig Two" - The Band Perry.
...except when they're not.
Sources: "White Liar'" - Miranda Lambert, "She's Acting Single" - Gary Stewart, "Wish I Didn't Know Now" - Toby Keith
4. Violence is a solution
But if she ever catches you cheating, you'd better watch out. She's likely to spread rumors, smash your truck with a baseball bat or set your bed on fire.
Sources: "Before He Cheats" - Carrie Underwood, "Kerosene" - Miranda Lambert, "Picture to Burn" - Taylor Swift
3. ...and it solves all sorts of problems
Of course, that's nothing compared to if you abuse her. A country girl will not put up with abuse. She'll get her revenge -- whether that's by poisoning your black-eyed peas, or just simply shooting you, she'll get it.
Sources: "12 Gauge" - Casey Donahew Band, "Goodbye Earl" - Dixie Chicks, "Gunpowder & Lead" - Miranda Lambert
2. She probably gets it from her father
Her daddy is going to be waiting on the porch for you to bring her home. And he'll most likely have a shotgun. Which he will not be afraid to use.
Sources: "Cleaning This Gun" - Rodney Atkins, "What Was I Thinkin'" - Dierks Bentley, "Welcome to the Family" - Little Big Town
1. What to do when everything goes wrong
Mexico. If things don't turn out so great, there's always Mexico.
Sources: "That's Why God Made Mexico" - Tim McGraw, "Mexico or Crazy" - Jason Boland, just about any song by Toby Keith