It's all fun and games until your date's dad insists on showing you his gun collection.
Southern boys know that taking a girl out on a date means meeting the father, and southern fathers like to make an impression on the guys dating their little girls. Sometimes this means unyielding eye contact, sometimes friendly threats about being home by 10. But on particularly terrifying occasions, it means walking out the door as your date's dad casually cleans his 12-gauge. Here are the best songs overprotective fathers packing heat.
Here are the best songs overprotective fathers packing heat.
6. "The Shotgun Boogie" - Tennessee Ernie Ford
This 1950 hit proves just how long this trope has been around. At first it seems Ernie is only doing the shotgun boogie with some small game on his farm, but he eventually realizes he isn't the only one in town with a piece. Before he goes to meet his date's pap, she warns him "He's loaded all the time." But he tells her he'll be back just as soon as her dad runs out of ammo.
5. "Shotgun Wedding" - Jamie Lynn Spears
Jamie Lynn Spears is known for plenty of things - being Britney's younger sister, having had her own TV show and getting pregnant at 16 to name a few. But not many folks know of her attempts at country stardom. Her 2014 debut EP started with this too-true-to-life tune about how easy it is for teens to get accidentally knocked up. Don't forget how the song got its name: "And knowing the redneck side of the room / There might even be a shotgun or two."
4. "What Was I Thinkin'" - Dierks Bentley
Poor Dierks. All he wanted was to go on a hot date with a girl in a little white tank top, and what he got was a police chase, a bar fight and a homicidal dad. Clearly this girl likes Dierks, and it's totally unfair of her father to try to kill her date. Dads, am I right?! At least Bentley's dog Jake will always come through for him.
3. "She's In Love With The Boy" - Trisha Yearwood
Trisha's sweet down-home song uncovers the weird paradox underlying overprotective fathers - the reason they don't trust teen boys is because they know what it's like to be a teen boy. Despite their intentions, job prospects or intellect (or lack thereof ), love still manages to prevail. We wish Katie and Tommy the best.
2. "Welcome To The Family" - Little Big Town
Ah, small towns, where everyone knows your business. It can be grating at times, endearing at others - but when you're an outsider trying to marry your way in, it can be downright treacherous. As long as you don't mind an overbearing family, and you make damn sure not to do your woman wrong, you may just get out alive.
1. "Cleaning This Gun (Come On In Boy)" - Rodney Atkins
It doesn't get much clearer than this. Atkins tries to take his crush out and ends up getting read a toned-down riot act by her father. The vivid and horrifying memory carries over once he has a daughter himself. Dads with shotguns beget dads with shotguns.