It all started in 2003 in Seattle, when Starbucks bigwigs got together and decided to launch a new Fall flavor. Little did they know that the Starbucks Pumpkin Spice Latte would be the birth of a national pumpkin spice obsession lasting well into the next decade.
The pumpkin spice phenomenon has spread, like a cheerful, Autumnal wildfire, to the point that now, over 10 years after its inception, we are inundated with pumpkin spice products each fall that get more and more ludicrous.
It’s all well and good to start your pumpkin spice morning with a pumpkin spice latte and some pumpkin spice cream cheese on a pumpkin spice bagel, but when pumpkin begins encroaching upon other meals and even non-edible products, well folks, we have entered the pumpkin spice twilight zone.
This time next year we will all be living in pumpkin spice houses filled with pumpkin spice furniture, and we’ll drive our pumpkin spice cars to work at our pumpkin spice offices where we’ll be paid in pumpkin spice lattes. And if you think that sounds crazy, just check out this list of ridiculous pumpkin spice products, and you’ll see just how pervasive the pumpkin proliferation really is.
And yes, all of these products are real.
37. Seems a bit redundant, but okay.
36. Just thinking of all the chemicals in that tub makes me want to go on a juice cleanse.
35. Somehow I don’t see many kids demanding these.
34. For the more discerning pumpkin-flavored, instant breakfast connoisseur.
33. Whatever happened to caramel?
32. At least it’s pudding and not gelatin.
31. They even made them pumpkin-shaped so there is no doubt about the flavor.
30. Just when you think candy corn couldn’t get any more disgusting…
29. Looks like pumpkins, tastes like pain.
28. Oh, good, something normal. Wait…that’s not apple cider!!!
27. “Honey roasted pumpkin” should never be part of a pasta label.
26. Well, what else are you going to douse your pumpkin ravioli in?
25. Why must you torment us this way, Nabisco?
24. Somehow I don’t think “Pumpkin chip cookies” are ever going to replace chocolate chip.
23. Don’t act like you didn’t go to three targets in search of this last season.
22. Before you eat your pumpkin meal, be sure to wash your pumpkin hands.
21. Another step in your pumpkin hygiene routine.
20. “Moooom I want a pumpkin butter and jelly sandwich!” said no kid, ever.
19. You know, to freshen your breath. Sort of.
18. The best thing about these cookies is how they look like they’re about to consume your soul.
17. All that fiber should make for a good pumpkin spice BM.
16. Two flavors that should never be combined.
15. In case you’re brave enough to try the pumpkin spice hummus, you’ll obviously want some pumpkin spice tortilla chips.
14. I know, let’s replace all the elements of salsa with squash!
13. It’s like a pumpkin spice latte for kids. Serve with ugg boots.
12. When you’re done with your pumpkin food, wash your pumpkin dishes.
11. Because your dog totally cares about your pumpkin obsession.
10. What? Is it pumpkin flavored grape juice? Grape-flavored pumpkin juice? Juice-flavored pumpkin grape? I give up.
9. The breakfast of champions?
8. For your pumpkin cereal, obviously you’d need some pumpkin milk.
7. Why is this necessary in life?
6. I bet this soda tastes like disappointment.
5. LOOK OUT, EASTER, PUMPKIN SPICE IS COMING FOR YOUR HOLIDAY.
4. The idea of pumpkin spice m&m’s is even horrifying to the m&m’s.
3. Please make it stop.
2. No.
1. Just no. Seriously. Stop right now.
