13 Toothpaste Flavors That Should Never, Ever Exist

In this world, there are so many non-mint toothpaste options available. While some are wonderful additions to the flavor palette, others are not so much. Somehow, certain toothpaste manufacturers have mistakenly taken a wrong turn and decided that flavors that should be exclusively left on the table now belong on your toothbrush.

Not only are these flavors unappealing, but you have to wonder what their inventors were thinking - aren't you supposed to use toothpaste to clean your teeth?!

Regardless, for whatever reason, some unique flavor choices were made and it is now our job (to satisfy our curiosity) for us to try and judge them. What are some of the oddest ones you can find? Here are 13 of them.

1. Bacon

Yes, Americans love bacon. However, there are no words to sum up the incomprehension associated with making it a toothpaste flavor. See it in real life here.

2. Cupcake

Aren't you supposed to be getting your teeth clean? This doesn't sound like adequate oral care. I bet this tastes like bubble gum medicine. See this dessert product for yourself here.

3. Black Tooth Powder

I'm sorry, it is not 1800. You do not need to be coating your teeth in black powder in the hopes of cleaning them. Check it out here.

4. Indian Curry Toothpaste

There is no argument that curry is a delightful dish. It's just that it doesn't generally leave your breath smelling particularly fresh. So it's probably not the best choice for brushing. Just stick to Colgate.

You have to see it to believe it.

5. Jasmin Mint

Maybe it's good, maybe it's bad. Either way, it's decidedly odd. Decide for yourself here.

6. Amarelli Licorice

No one likes licorice in candy. No one likes it in food. So why on Earth would you make it the last thing you taste before you go to bed?

Marvel at this wondrously inappropriate flavor here.

7. Karakum

Naturally, this same Marvis brand came up with Karakum. A peppermint paste with hints of orange and cardamom, this is a very Indian-inspired flavor. Don't knock it until you try it! Figure it out here.

8. Chocolate

For those that don't believe in brushing their teeth, here is a candy bar-wrapped option in chocolate. You may not ever suspect that your teeth are cleaner than when you left the dinner table.

Indulge in a tube for yourself here.

9. Vanilla Bling

First of all, what is vanilla bling? Secondly, vanilla ice cream is probably the most uninspiring flavor you could have chosen. Find yourself a tube here.

10. Tea Tree Oil + Cinnamon

Cinnamon is just fine for toothpaste. But tea tree oil? And then when you mix it together, that's just questionable. Maybe you want to try the flavor? See it here.

11. Fennel + Myrrh

Fennel is just licorice in vegetable form. And I'm fairly certain that Myrrh is reserved exclusively for the three Wisemen, not for toothpaste.

Check out the magical ingredients in action here.

12. Coca-Cola

Coca-Cola sounds like about the worst thing that you could choose to clean your teeth. Isn't soda supposed to cause cavities, not prevent them? Just thinking about using this toothpaste is making me feel like I have sensitive teeth!

See for yourself here.

13. Bamboo Salt

Can we just be happy with a mint flavor?  What exactly is bamboo salt and how does it clean your teeth? Perhaps you can find some answers here.

Oh, are you not entertained? Surely there's orange juice and fresh mint flavored toothpaste out there somewhere. The strawberry fluoride toothpaste from the dentist puts a bad taste in my mouth, I can't imagine using these flavors.

What's next, bacon flavored mouthwash? I value oral hygiene, so leave me to my spearmint and baking soda whitening toothpaste.

This post was originally published on January 27, 2018.

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