Life is different in the Lone Star State than it is anywhere else in America. Texans have just about as much state pride as they do national pride, and Texans love discussing their home state. Just like anywhere else, there are certain things we enjoy, and certain things we despise.
“Do you ride horses to school?” NO. Well, okay, sometimes a few kids might do this for a laugh. Don’t assume we’re all horse-riding, truck-driving, cowboy-hat-wearing caricatures of Pecos Bill though. Come on, now.
Low speed limits and/or slow drivers
In 2000, the city of Houston lowered the speed limit to 55 MPH, and you’d have thought they outlawed Blue Bell the way people reacted. To be fair though, Houston is one of the largest cities in the nation both in population and area, it takes over an hour to get from South Houston to North Houston and that’s when there’s absolutely no traffic.
Our own beaches
South Padre notwithstanding, Gulf Coast beaches in Texas have brown sand, brown water, small waves, and lots of seaweed. Texas beaches feature the beautiful view of offshore oil rigs and a steady flow of oil tankers coming in and out with the tide. We still go there in the summer, but we complain about it to one another. Also, nothing is worse than spotting a false Texas beach in a movie or TV show. If there’s blue water, that’s not a Texas beach. I’m lookin’ at you, Blake Lively.
It’s sort of weird which states hate which other states. I’m not really sure when or why Texans started hating the Sooner State. Maybe it has to do with the UT/OU rivalry. Texans do indeed have beef with Oklahomans. They hate us too, though. It’s mutual.
Chili with beans
Chili is the state dish of Texas and therefore, we are opinionated about it. The proper Texan way to make chili is without beans. Chili is a delicious meat-filled dish. It can stand on its own two feet without beans as a filler.
Texans are a genuine bunch, and we can smell a phony a mile away. If you are snobby, stuck up or just a liar, we will call you out and/or knock you down a peg, as the case necessitates. Just be yourself.
In a state filled with bats, wild hogs and various deadly snakes, the scourge of Texas is definitely mosquitoes. We hate these little blood-sucking buggers with a passion. Nothing ruins a barbecue faster than a swarm of mosquitoes.
Yeah, everyone doesn’t like droughts, but they’re that much worse in Texas. Burn bans make summer so much more dull. There’s no grilling, no smoking, no fireworks, no bonfires, the grass dies and the next thing you know the Lost Pines have burned. Droughts make the lakes inaccessible and ruin river floats too. Y’all really don’t want to have to pick up your tube and walk through the Frio. It’s no fun. Texans may not like him, but we agree with Luke Bryan’s assertion that rain is a good thing.
People who litter
“Don’t mess with Texas” isn’t just a saying here. If you throw things out your car window or just wantonly toss your trash in the streets, the best thing you’re going to get is the stink eye. At worst, we might actually call the police on you. Do. Not. Mess. With. Texas.
READ MORE: 10 Best Don’t Mess with Texas Ads
Aggressive (unfriendly) drivers
Texas is a bit of a study in contrasts, because, while we dislike driving slow, we also hate jerks on the road. Don’t clog up the left lane, get over when someone comes up behind you, wait your turn, be polite. A little common courtesy goes a long way in the Lone Star State.
READ MORE: 15 Signs You Learned to Drive in Texas
Grackles are smaller than crows, bigger than pigeons, pitch black and louder than a cat in heat. A couple times a year these birds will migrate through Texas making enormous messes on everyone’s cars. If you’re eating outside (which we do often) watch out because a Grackle will steal your food right out of your hand. People in the country tend to take a shotgun loaded with birdshot to any tree infested with Grackles.
It’s almost a right of passage to step in a fire ant bed as a little kid. Texans learn to identify fire ant beds at a very early age. It’s either that, or live with constant sting attacks.