Being a Texan comes with a lot of perks. We have sunshine most of the year, we have great beer and amazing barbecue, and no matter where you go in the world, everyone has heard of Texas. Another perk of being a Texan: interesting life skills. There are just some things you learn only from living in Texas. So in case you’re new here and don’t already know, here are 10 things all real Texans should know how to do.
How to get fresh tamales at Christmas
This is one of the few things I can’t recommend you buy at H-E-B. Those tamales are passable, but trust me, someone in your neighborhood (or their grandma, or their aunt) is going to be making fresh tamales to sell. Buy those instead. They’ll have less masa and more head cheese and just basically be way better and more fresh.
How to Texas Two Step
Every Texan needs to know the Two-Step, the most common move used in the dance halls. The two-step is simple: quick, quick, slow, slow.
How to refer to carbonated soft drinks
“They’re all cokes. No, it’s not confusing.”
How to pick a ripe avocado
The skin should be black, but the avocado shouldn’t be hard. It also shouldn’t be soft, it should just have a little give. Too much means it’s rotten, not enough means it’s unripe.
How to make a homecoming mum
Step 1: Stop at your local craft store.
Step 2: Buy the entire floral department.
Step 3: Drown in hot glue.
How to find dewberries
A real Texan knows how to spot a dewberry plant even when there’s no berries on it yet. Dewberries grow in just about every ditch and along every fence line in the state. Careful of the thorns when you’re picking them.
Which cowboy hat to wear each season
Straw hats are for summer, felt hats are for winter.
How to pronounce Texan towns and roads
Know anyone who lives in Bosque? Boerne? Burnett? If you’re a true Texan you at least know how to say all those words. (It’s “BOSS-key” “Bernie” and “BURN-it.”)
The difference between a kolache and a klobasnek
Kolaches are fruit-filled and sweet, klobasneks contain sausage. Both are delicious.
How to make a great bowl of chili
Avoid the beans. Here’s a great recipe.