Georgia’s Summer Redneck Games are the best way to get down and dirty when the heat comes on, but without a sponsor, they could be canceled again.
For most, summertime in the Peach State means picnics, poolside tanning and relaxation. But stop over in Dublin, Georgia during one special day of the year, and you’ll find yourself smack dab in the middle of the greatest redneck competition on to Earth. For the third year in a row, however, the organizers have struggled to find a sponsor, and this year’s edition is in danger of being canceled. Here’s what we’ll be missing if a sponsor isn’t found.
When Atlanta hosted the 1996 Olympics, plenty of pundits took cheap shots and joked about rednecks hosting the games. Some southerners were tired of being a classist punchline and decided to flip the script by creating a Redneck Games of their own. Spawned mostly as a joke, they expected a few hundred people to show up. Instead, they got five thousand. To date, the annual event has seen almost a hundred thousand redneck participants, and boy, do they know how to have a good time.
Any self-respecting athletic competition of this scale needs a wide array of activities. In the Olympics, you can compete in anything from curling to horse dancing (sorry, dressage.) In the Summer Redneck Games, there is probably a competition that suits your bizarro down-home talents, whatever they may be. Are you the most talented of your friends when it comes to armpit farting? The Games have you covered. Are you the best mud belly flopper in town? The Games have you covered. There are other lesser-known games like dumpster diving and the big hair contest, where redneck ladies must literally out-do the competition.
The best contests are those that mimic other traditional events. There’s a ring toss, but bring some hand sanitizer because it uses old toilet seats. Instead of bobbing for apples, Games-goers bob for pigs feet. And best of all, the SRG take the proud Olympian institution of discus tossing and replaces it with hubcaps.
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Then again, not everyone has a competitive streak. There’s plenty to do if you’re just looking to relax with some buds, cold or otherwise. After catching toothless mascot L-Bow’s lighting of the Redneck Torch (a pole of PBR cans, naturally), you may be inclined to cool off. After all, summer is the perfect time to tire swing into a swimming hole – so just point yourself towards the sign that says “No Swimming Allowed.”
The food is to die for, and it’s not your standard fare, either. In particular, we recommend the fried gator kabobs – they really do taste like chicken. And to wash it down, stop by the fire truck that’s been retrofitted with beer, because as we can all agree, getting a buzz on is way more important than fire safety.
Attending the Games is even more fun with a significant other, and what better place is there to enter into holy matrimony? Some years have featured a touching redneck wedding ceremony, in which the bride and groom’s bouquet is flowers taped to an empty bottle of Jack. Instead of running into a rainstorm of rice, the newlyweds plunge into the mudpit to prove their devotion.
If you don’t live anywhere close to Dublin, there might just be a transplant Games near your neck of the woods. Even our neighbors to the north can share in the festivities, held in Minto.