When traveling outside our home state, native Texans may find the questions from curious non-Texans pretty funny at first, then downright insulting. For anyone who has been asked if they ride horses to school, this article is for you.
Here are some of the people who are perpetuating the stereotype that Texans are a big bunch of monster-truck-driving, horse-loving, mullet-wearing secessionists. Sure maybe we have a few of those, but most of us have current (if bigger than average) hair-dos, drive cars to get where we’re going and refrain from riding horses on main thoroughfares.
But there is that one percent of people who choose to embrace the Texan stereotypes, whether just for fun or because that’s life for some people. These people are the little brothers of the family that is Texas. We can make fun of them, but no one else is allowed to. Love them or hate them, here are some of the people responsible for Texan stereotypes. They’re real, and they walk among us.
This chick who needs a grappling hook to climb into her truck:
Seriously, though, she’s eye level with the floorboards.
This mullet man representing secessionists at the State Capitol.
Business in the front, nationalist in the back.
Whoever had this bright idea:
Why? But more importantly, how?
This lady preserving the grand tradition of the Fort Worth cattle drive:
Bet y’all didn’t know saddle broke steer was even a thing.
Whoever made this Second Amendment grill
Giving new meaning to “fire up the grill”.
Whoever attached this enormous hood ornament:
Congratulations! Now you fit right in. No one will notice that’s not a truck.
This unique traffic jam:
— Will Bentley (@wlbntly) July 18, 2013
I hate tractor rush hour.
Whoever’s awesome man cave this is:
Saddle on up to the bar now, y’all.
The genius behind this culinary gem:
God bless Texas.
This improvised cattle wash:
Don’t forget the hot wax option.
Whoever opened these stores:
Inadvisable as this combination may seem, this is a real store.
These devoted Whataburger patrons:
Whataburger doesn’t have hitching posts, so obviously you have to use the drive thru.
— KHOU 11 News Houston (@KHOU) July 9, 2013
…or you could try to use the flimsy Crape Myrtles as hitching posts, whatever.
Seriously y’all, just stop making this so hard on everyone else from Texas.