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Hilarious 1-Star Yelp Reviews of Iconic Austin Music Venues

Oh Yelp, the forum in which everyone can tell everyone else about the one time they ate a bad cheeseburger. Ever since the website came on the scene, it’s produced a barrage of reviews, both good and bad. For a laugh, we decided to check out how some of the most famous country music venues in Austin, Texas are doing on Yelp, and we found some hysterical reviews.

The White Horse – Austin

Yelp/Sean K.
Yelp/Sean K.

I think Sean K. is on to something with this review. Somehow, it seems to speak the truth about so many of Austin’s music institutions. Extra points for the truth bomb at the end: “Nothing good ever lasts.”

Broken Spoke – Austin

FB/Broken Spoke Dancehall
FB/Broken Spoke Dancehall
Yelp/Cynthia R.
Yelp/Cynthia R.

According to Cynthia R., all you need to enjoy this famous Texas dance hall is one solid doctor’s visit beforehand and an upgrade on your life insurance policy.

The Continental Club – Austin

Flickr/Tadson Bussey
Flickr/Tadson Bussey
Yelp/Jon G.
Yelp/Jon G.

We have to wonder what this reviewer actually looked like if they felt like a science project being stared at. Also, maybe some earplugs would help? Or not attending the most famous music venue on South Congress.

The Little Longhorn Saloon – Austin

Flickr/Lars Plougmann
Flickr/Lars Plougmann
Yelp/Dave J.
Yelp/Dave J.

If you were hoping to play pool in the days following June 12, 2009, you were probably SOL because this Manhattanite decided to take ball 14. Who orders Jaeger bombs at Ginny’s, anyways? Dave J. seems like he got what he deserved, what with his polo shirt and all. I can almost see the gelled, spiky hair from here.

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Hilarious 1-Star Yelp Reviews of Iconic Austin Music Venues