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Dolly Parton Delivers Hilarious Jokes, Innuendos at SAG Awards

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Country legend Dolly Parton graced the SAG Awards stage on Sunday night (Jan. 29) to give her gal pal Lily Tomlin a lifetime achievement award.

Parton made country proud as she represented in a sparkly gown with her blonde hair as big as ever. She waltzed onstage to a standing ovation (one that reminded me that Parton is much more than a legend in this genre) with a smile from ear to ear.

“I’m not getting an award,” she told the excited audience. From that moment on, her speech was full of jokes and, of course, innuendos.

“My goodness, look at this room of all these special people. I almost didn’t get in,” Parton said as the crowd started to laugh. “Seriously, I didn’t. They kept wanting to see my IDs. Well I think it was ‘IDs’ maybe it was ‘double Ds’ something like that. Glad to get that off my chest. Jane [Fonda] and Lily are not my only two famous girlfriends.”

Parton’s speech was funny, but she was there for a very serious reason. Lily Tomlin, her co-star from 9 to 5, was receiving an award honoring her long and celebrated film career. Parton was just glad the award wasn’t going to her.

“I might say that Lily is receiving an award I’ve spent my whole life trying to avoid. Sag award? If I see something sagging, dragging and bagging I’m gonna call Dr. Markowitz to get that nipped up and sucked right away.”

She also joked about their hit movie, saying that people have been wanting them to do a sequel. “We better get at it or we’ll have to call it 95!” she said of the 1980 comedy.

Tomlin filled her equally hilarious acceptance speech with political jabs, but those weren’t the funniest moments. My personal favorite was her advice for young actors.

“So along with telling them to wear sunscreen I suggest a few other things I think you may find helpful: Don’t leave the house when you’re drunk,” she said. “And if you’re already out there, well you must learn to tell when you’ve had too much to drink. Listen to your friends — when they stop talking to you and start talking about you, saying things like ‘did she have a purse?’

“Don’t be anxious about missing an opportunity,” she continued. “Behind every failure is an opportunity someone wishes they had missed. Meryl [Streep] is laughing at this and there’s absolutely no time she’s been a failure.”

When Tomlin wrapped up her jokes and grabbed her award, Parton was there to help her carry it off the stage. Apparently that thing is pretty dang heavy!

Here’s the complete list of winners from the 2017 SAG Awards.

See Also: 10 Reasons Why We Love Dolly Parton

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Dolly Parton Delivers Hilarious Jokes, Innuendos at SAG Awards