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A Texan’s Map to the United States (of Texas)

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Ah, Texas pride. We’re proud of our state. Deal with it.

And if you need more proof of it, just take a look at this “Texan’s Map of the United States (of Texas).” Provided by the funny folks at Texoak Flooring Company in Crockett, Texas this map shows it like it is.

Now, it may be hard to believe for some folks. But the map sets the record straight — just check the disclaimer. “Everything depicted hereon is the gospel truth!” reads the map. “Attested to by a group of impartial Texans! All skeptics may appeal to his eminence, the king of Texas.”

So here are some things you didn’t know about the United States. The Great Lakes are mostly just Texas reservoirs and duck ponds. California is actually “The Land of Golden (Come To Texas) Opportunity.” And everything north of Ginny (that’s Virginia, to you) is just “DamnYankeeLand.” [Click here to enlarge]

Texoak Flooring Company's Map of Texas
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East Coast

East-Coast
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Midwest

Central
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West Coast

West-Coast-2
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South

South
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A lot of world records call Texas home, too. Like the “World’s Finest Farmland.” And “World’s Best Dressed and Most Beautiful Women.” You may also be thinking to yourself, “Gee, Crockett sure looks bigger than I thought.” Well, check the map. Because the map don’t lie!

The map teaches you all kind of things you had no idea about, unless you’re a Texan. Of course we all just grow up knowing this stuff. Like how to actually pronounce New Mexico. And the fact that El Paso is where the sun goes for the winter. So study up!

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A Texan’s Map to the United States (of Texas)