It’s summertime and the living is not so easy, because this is Texas. Those who thought the rainy start of summer meant we’d have a mild season are hugely disappointed. August has descended with a vengeance (as it does every year) and chased Texans indoors and onto their computers where they shared some of the most Texan tweets of the summer. Here are 22 of the best ones.
Because (obviously) Texans’ favorite flavor of bacon isn’t jalapeño or applewood, it’s gun oil.
Mr. Ramsey is referring to the annual tax-free weekend in Texas where every parent in the state does their school shopping, and unwitting non-parents sometimes get caught up in the insanity. Thanks for the warning, Ross.
For those of you who aren’t teenage girls, “5sos” stands for 5 Seconds of Summer, and it’s a boy band. I did the Googling for you. You’re welcome.
It gets hotter before it gets cooler
Texas heals all pain.
Texans count down to football season with more enthusiasm than Buddy the elf counting down to Christmas.
Yeah, Bill. You’re not spoiling this Texan’s fishing trip.
Yes, you are safe in Texas, sir. You will feel much better and tweet more coherently after you’ve eaten some Whataburger.
Yes, Michael Ian Black. But only because he’s from South Korea. North Korea does not allow baseball or Texas.
I may be biassed, but yes. Yes we are.
Baby powder ain’t gonna cut it, Stephen. You’d better stop at H-E-B and pick up some powerful deodorant.
It’s a rule in the Texas DPS Driver’s Handbook.
Yup. Which is why we have life hacks like this one:
This is kind of genius actually.
This is an extremely Texan picture.
Corie, you’ve got a point.
Wait, that’s not the state bird?
Nope. It’s a state law. Once you’ve graduated from eggs you should try…
Just in case you’re not hungry for eggs.
We’re with you, man.
Three days is more than enough time for you to be converted to ONE OF US.
Overheard in Texas: “There’s a cool front coming in, it’s supposed to get down into the 90’s.”